Business and Pleasure
by Ranger-Nova
Summary: Warp and Gravitina discover a way to liven up a Zurg meeting. Then, disaster strikes...


"It's about time you got here, Darkmatter!" Zurg glared at his lackey. "This meeting should have started five minutes ago!"

Warp grunted and made his way to the table. "Sorry for the hold up." _Yeesh, can't I even be five minutes late without... _Warp's thoughts suddenly trailed off as he gazed at the person seated across from him. He'd known Zurg was bringing in various well-known villain personages to help in his latest scheme, and he'd known one of them would be some woman named Gravitina, but... he hadn't known she'd be so... _hot. _

"Is there something wrong?" Gravitina asked, a touch of irritation in her voice. Why was this guy staring at her like that? If it was because of her head, she was going to flatten him to a pulp.

"No, no, 'course not," Warp grinned, eyeing her shapely form with approval. "There's nothing wrong at all."

Gravitina smiled. "Thank you," she purred. "I'm Gravitina, the Mistres of Mass..." She leaned forward seductively. "...And all of it's _attractions."_

"Really?" Warp leaned forward as well. "I'm Agent Darkmatter."

"Soon to be _ex_-Agent Darkmatter if you don't shut up," Zurg broke in. "We're here to discuss evil, not make small talk!"

Warp sighed. "Yes, Evil Emperor." _Don't I ever get a break?_

"Now," Zurg continued, "Our primary objective is the elimination of Buzz Lightyear and the destruction of the Galactic Alliance. I think we should begin by..."

While he was listening to Zurg ramble, Warp suddenly felt something brush against his leg. He glanced across the table at Gravitina, and she gave him a sly wink. _Hmm, maybe this isn't going to be such a boring meeting after all, _he grinned. Stretching one of his legs out, he began rubbing his foot against Gravitina's ankle.

"...and, of course, taking into account the differing levels of technological advancement on each Alliance planet is vital, as is..."

Oh, that felt good. The bare skin on her leg was so soft and delicate... it made him wish he wasn't wearing his boots so he could feel her better.

"...once we've assessed each planet's strengths, we then move on to phase two of our plan. This is very important, so all of you lackwits had better be paying attention..."

She giggled softly as she felt his boot rub against her. This meeting was turning out to be far more interesting than she'd anticipated. Concentrating her mental powers, she gently slipped the boot off Warp's foot, and sighed in delight as she felt his warm toes rubbing at her ankle.

"...okay, did you get all that? Because I hate repeating myself, and - " Before Zurg could finish, one of his Grubs suddenly burst in.

"There's a call coming in, your Evilness!" the Grub panted.

"A call? Oh, pooh!" Zurg folded his arms. "Just as I was getting to phase three! Very well, put it on." Rising from his chair, he stepped in front of the vidphone. "Hello, Zurg here!" He frowned when he saw who was calling. "Oh, Lightyear."

Hearing the familiar name, both Warp and Gravitina glanced in the direction of the screen. _Craters, what does Lightyear want? _Warp scowled. It was _so _like Buzz to interrupt just when he was having fun.

After bantering with Lightyear for awhile, Zurg ended the call and turned around. "Now, where were we?" He suddenly noticed an empty place at the table. "And what happened to NOS-4-A2?"

"I think he took a lunch break," Torque smirked, pointing to a trail of dead hornets.

Zurg frowned. "Is _no one _taking this meeting seriously?" He sighed and collapsed into NOS's empty seat. "Now, getting back to phase three..."

_That's not the only thing to get back to. _Warp winked at Gravitina and slipped his foot towards her. Oh, he'd had no idea board meetings could be this fun. One just needed a good footsies partner...

"...this is where it's really crucial that we - " Zurg's eyes suddenly grew wide. "Darkmatter!" He jumped to his feet. "Did you just rub my leg with you foot?"

_Oooooh craters... _"I... uh... I..."

"HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU NO FUNNY BUSINESS ON THE JOB?"

"Whoa... you and the big Z are playing footsies?" Torque looked at the pair and burst out laughing.

XL rubbed his helmet in confusion. "What are 'footsies'?"

"It wasn't on purpose!" protested Warp. "I thought he was Gravitina!"

Zurg pointed a finger at Darkmatter assusingly. "So! You were rubbing feet with her when you should have been paying attention to me!" He folded his arms crossly. "Take your flirtations elsewhere, you lackwit!"

Warp perked up and turned to Gravitina. "You heard the man - come on." They quickly rose from their seats and left hand-in-hand, while Zurg stared after them.

"Did I miss anything?" NOS appeared behind Zurg.

The Evil Emperor sighed. "How come none of my meetings ever go as planned?"

* * *

Author's note: The first Grape fic is officially up! Grape, in case you don't know, is Warp/Gravitina. Weird, I know, but it was the result of a conversation in the BLoSC forum's chatbox, so what do you expect?

Credit for the original idea and the line "You heard the man - come on." goes to Alexa (aka blueglows), and credit for the lines "HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU NO FUNNY BUSINESS ON THE JOB?" and "Take your flirtations elsewhere, you lackwit!" goes to Steel (aka Eden Echo).

Do tell us what you think of the pairing!


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